Usually I aim to pollute my brain with mindless television from Adult Swim, E!, or watching Anderson Cooper 360 on mute, yet when I learned our Lady had made the list for Barbara Walters' Most Fascinating People of 2009 (hellur) I strapped myself down to behold what would end up being a most intriguing hour of my life. These people may fascinate Barbara, but her interviews would be all the more fascinating to me. Judys and Tommis, I present to you the Queer's Top 10 Most Fascinating Moments of Barabara Walter's Top 9 Most Fascinating People of 2009.

1. Let us begin from the start. Peering over from the glow of my computer screen, I was horrified to find Barbara in what could only be a Saw-worthy death trap, yet was slightly relieved to learn it was only her earrings. The woman is 80 fine years of age. Let's get her a bone density test before we go stapping Trinity Taylor's ear glam on her.





2. The majestic (although ragingly short) interview with our Lady is fascinating without me having to tell you, so let's skip over that and look at the FURNITURE from that interview. Fabulous. Sitting in Acrylic Louis Ghost Chairs with just as equally purty pieces in the background, this queer was throbbing with excitement and plotting his way to get in the studio and make off with a chair or three with attention to make sure I grab the one host to our Lady's buns.




If you look just beyond Liberty Belle here, you can make out the sofa that i encourage any  reader to have delivered to me Christmas Day. No need to wrap, I'll be just as happy. Maybe a bow. Yes a bow would be nice.






3. While having a little sit down with the Rock-A-Bye Succubus herself, I raised an eyebrow for Barbara and her turtleneck/ski jacket. Chilly dear? I'm sure Kate does fine with her cold-blooded ways, but Barbara, need I remind you...you're 80.  You've got monties, I'm sure you can stand to turn up the heat. I'm pretty sure that wasn't you in the Alabama Power commercial, buttoning up your shawl with feeble arthritic fingers in the gloom.


4 On a similar note AND photo, I have yet to decide which lady has the most lesbian hair style here. I'll leave that up to the readers. Feel free to answer the sidebar poll in your spare time. These are demanding issues and require the most democratic determination possible.







5. WTF is he doing on here? I must say though, I love his pleasant flesh-tone scarf he has bundled up there. Oh, that's his chin rolls? Oh. Very well then. Continuing on...







6. Look! A queer. I wanted to listen to this interview. I really did. But between the two of their gorgeously caked up faces, I grew a hankering for some tasty flapjacks and flitted off to the nearest Target for some of Aunt Jemima's finest add-water-only powder.






7. Tyler Perry is a big ass man.











8. Michelle Obama is a big ass man.












9. Still slightly perturbed by the relatively short interview with whom I believe we can all agree is the most fascinating person - our Lady - I was enthralled with gayish delight to see Bad Romance played out for the final credits of the show. Barbara had me lost, but I was found.
Ra.
Ra.
Ah.
Ah.
Aha.
 



10. And the most fascinating moment of this show has no snarky comment and no distateful intentions. I was moved by Barbara's tribute to the children of the late Michael Jackson. Very tastefully done, I was even caught with a tear and appreciated a very sweet moment found in a swirling mass of tediousness. Good job Barbara.




This concludes the Queer's Most Fascina...well you remember the title. It's right at the top if you need reminding. May Whimsy Walters live another year to sit down with some right fine folks and unashamedly sink her teeth into them. Honarary mentions go to Jenny Sanford. That's a classy bitch ya'll. And yes. It's 9 people this year. Sarah Palin does not count. Remember to vote for the most lesbian hair style, unless you are offended. Even though those are definitely very lesbian hair styles.

Over and Out,
CampusQueer