The week of Kri'Muh is nigh! Too bad your faggot-ass was too busy turning tricks in a van down by the river to remember to get your gift shopping done. Never fear! CampusQueer is here to give you some inspiration. Since I'm sure your Nice and Naughty lists are equally lengthy, I've got a Top 5 for each to make sure you've got a little something shiny to slip down anyone's stocking. Let's start with the Nice List.



CampusQueer's Top 5 Gift Ideas for Nice Bitches



1. A Saks Gift Card. For the label whore in all of us. Now if you don't get generous enough with that dollar amount, girl ain't walking out of that place with a stitch. This is the perfect gift for any Daddy to his SugarBaby.







2. MAC Lip Conditioner.
 For those kissable winter moments.











3. Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster.
Every queer needs a hard copy.








4. Panties! AussieBum won't arrive in time from Down Under at this point, so perhaps Diesel is the way to go? Make sure you get the right size. A sweet gift could turn nasty if you show up with spankies two sizes too large.






5. A Girl's of SEC 2010 Calendar. Perfect for any Judy or breeder you hold dear. You can also send a copy to our troops in need. Open your wallets and your hearts so that they can "get on and get off." If that just rang a bell, the following list is probably more up your alley.

For one of these T-Totally-Riffic calendars, contact Jessica Geisen at: jegeisen@crimson.ua.edu






Top 5 Gift Ideas for Naughty Little Sluts


1. Cucumber and Vaseline. If you're on a budget after spending all your money on alcohol and bar covers this year, this is the gift for you. Simple, yet heart-felt. Especially if you find a large enough cucumber.






2. A Bible. May their soul be saved when they find the spirit of the Laward.










3. Renewed Manhunt Account. 2009 is coming to a close and perhaps its that time to pull out the old credit card again to make sure they can get their anonymous rocks off.

Or maybe you have a friend who just needs to shut the hell up and get laid. Make them an account and tell them to take a damn hint.






4. An Absolut Bottle Filled With Water. There's nothing more disappointing. And think about it...that bottle has to get empty one way or another in order to fill with some H20







5. This Dumbass AE Hat. For the douchebag friend that we all keep around. This way, we can see you in a crowd and say, "Oh. Yep. He's wearing that awful thing from that horrid store. Must be a douchebag."

That wraps it up for CampusQueer's 2009 holiday gift inpsirations. Go get in line now, because everyone else and their Phillipino sex slave are out in a fierce shopping frenzy. Also, please do not allow the store to wrap your gifts for you, unless you are just that damn bad with Scotch tape and ribbon. Just sayin... And be sure to gather round the CampusQueer with a hot chocolate and Bailey's this Christmas Eve for a very gay yuletide storytime. Santa is on his way!


Over and Out,
CampusQueer