Guess what? You don't need a boyfriend. You don't need a girlfriend. You need friends. Phew. There. I said it. Yes, queerlings, CampusQueer is here to tell you to stop with this nonsense of true young love. Sure it may exist. But the time for it is not now if you are in college. For my older readers, the time for you is now. Your clock may be ticking. But you will probably agree with me that my peers need to lay low on the quasi-marriages infecting our college experiences. It is one thing to date and experience, but rings need not be purchased from the Wal-Mart quarter slots. We are still growing and discovering ourselves. I will be the first to admit I once thought I needed a stable relationship. It took a very great friend to convince me of otherwise and the hypnosis is over. That's all love is right now.

> Brianwashing. MTV. "Facebook official."

Do people feel compelled to be monogamous for a social fear? "Whore," they say. "Slut," they whisper. Fuck them. If you are in college, you have dreams; places to go. And they don't happen here. If they do, that is one thing. Mine won't happen here. To go somewhere else, I have to checkmark NSA on my Craigslist ad for Man Seeking Future.

I understand the argument, "Well we can be together now and have that experience while it lasts." If that's what you want and know that you can deal with the mutual agreement to love and leave in the upcoming years, then have at it. I can't do that and I'm having to come to terms with that reality now before later. Maybe you are as well. I know the feeling of wanting someone you know and care about to wake up to in the morning. It's a great feeling when it's there and an empty one when it's not. But we are young. I've been out for about two years. That's not near enough time to experience. So stop trying to join the chain gang and instead join the gang bang. You are only young and pretty and interesting once. I'm just sayin'.

And on the note of long-distance relationships. . .

. . . No.


So join me in the CampusQueer "She-Man Player Hater Club!" It's free admittance, no judgement by me (but probably by others,) and a FREE POPSICLE! If that's not enough, well then slap my ass and call me TwinkleSnatch.


Over and Out,
CampusQueer