So recently I have had to come to terms with another of my prevalent prejudices to bring my repetoire of biased hate full circle. I speak, of course, of my distaste of the Straighties. Not the females, mind you, just the males. I want it to be clear that it is not an apprehension rooted in fear per say, but moreso a tender awkwardness mixed with subtle loathing. I find myself daily in situations in which I must come in contact with these confounding creatures. I don't know how to interact with them. Responding to the simplest of salutations becomes my greatest test of the day. "Hey man. Wassup?" they say through that ersatz smile carelessly brushing away unkempt hair. Oh it seems simple enough, but they know what they are doing to me. Oh they know! They have just cornered me in a situation in which they want me to assimilate, deepen my voice, and forget I ever had impecable posture. "Wassup?" I reply. I have answered an empty question with an empty question. WTF?

Now, I am quite well aware that this is completely overanalyzed and I do assume the breeder's greeting was nothing short of courtesy to fellow man, but I can't shake the overwhelming tension I feel when addressed by a man who doesn't sleep with other men. Do others feel this way? Surely. I imagine any straight guy on campus would be shocked to learn that I want to be as far away from him as I assume he wants to be of me, unless he's hot; however, we all know there are approximately .02 hot guys per every man on this campus. And there is on average 1 gay guy per every 10 males in a public sample. And most hot guys are also gay guys, so there is a whole bunch of math there that basically sums up to the following: Almost 100% of straight guys need never cross paths with me. But much like Christians try to hold fast to "Hate the sin, not the sinner" bullshit, I must affirm myself to fear the breeder and not the breed. I should not assume that every given straight guy is uncomfortable around me for being gay and I should likewise not feel the same towards them. This does not alter the foul taste that arises on my pallete for those of straight descent, but I can learn to be more tolerable and more open to their culture. I probably can't learn a damn thing from them, but I'm quite sure they can learn a thing or three from me. And that cannot happen unless I open the lines of communication and tell them what really is "wassup."

Over and Out,
CampusQueer