Slip on down into a nice repose queerlings. Tonight is the prestigious and profound event that captivates us with every touching moment. It's the damn MTV Video Music Awards. Now seeing how as there is no performance from Our Lady, I'm hard-pressed to find a reason to actually see it through. However, with Chelsea Handler hosting I have a revived sense of determination to see this shitshow. Also, the highly anticipated duet between Taylor Swift and Kanye West is set to go on. Personally, I hope Kanye slangs his bottle of Hennessy up in the bitch's face. Yes, I'm still bitter about her upset over Our Lady last year. And the final thing I'm interested in see and a little damp in my lady parts about is a performance from Florence + The Machine. That bitch is fabulous and wonderful and slightly frightening. In a good way. So let's take a looksy-poo at our fine nominees and sort through it together. Predictions will appear highlighted in yellow. My preferences (demands really) will be highlighted in pink. Simple stuff. And if . . . no . . . WHEN Justin Beiber wins anything, I may throw a GHB baby bottle at that collywobble twink. Okay. Moving on again. I will do my best to not vote Our Lady for every situation. But no promises. . .


Best New Artist
Broken Bells - "The Ghost Inside"
Jason Derulo - "In My Head"
Justin Beiber - "Baby"
Ke$ha - "Tik Tok"  
Nicki Minaj - "Massive Attack"







Best Collaboration 
3OH!3/Ke$ha - "My First Kiss"
B.o.B./Hayley Williams - "Airplanes"
Beyonce/Lady Gaga - "Video Phone"
Jay-Z/Alicia Keys - "Empire State of Mind
Lady Gaga/Beyonce - "Telephone"







Best Dance Music Video
Cascada - "Evacuate the Dancefloor" <-- Because she's the only ACTUAL DANCE MUSIC!!!
David Guetta/Akon - "Sexy Chick"
Enrique Iglesias/Pitbull - "I Like It" <-- Promotional reasons only. Features those Jersey Shore douches.
Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance"  <-- Highlighted just because she's Lady Gaga dammit.
Usher - "OMG"






Best Female Video
Beyonce/Lady Gaga - "Video Phone"
Katy Perry/Snoop Dogg - "California Gurls"
Ke$ha - "Tik Tok"
Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance"
Taylor Swift - "Fifteen"



Best Hip-Hop Video
Jay - Z - "On to the Next One" 

. . . the rest don't matter.





                                    Best Male Video


                                                          . . .  there aren't any.



Best Pop Video
B.o.B/Bruno Mars - "Nothing on You"
Beyonce/Lady Gaga - "Video Phone"
Katy Perry/Snoop Dog - "California Gurls"
Ke$ha - "Tik Tok"
Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance"




Best Rock Video
30 Seconds to Mars - "Kings and Queens"
Florence + the Machine - Dog Days Are Over"
MGMT - "Flash Delirium"
Muse - "Uprising"
Paramore - "Ignorance"
Write-in: Semi Precious Weapons - "Semi Precious Weapons"







Video of the Year
30 Seconds to Mars - "Kings and Queens"
B.o.B/Hayley Williams - "Airplanes"
Eminem - "Not Afraid"
Florence + the Machine - "Dog Days are Over"
Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance"
Lady Gaga/Beyonce - "Telephone"










Well it is lovely to see dance music getting it's own recognition and category. Even if they really sucked it up with the nominee choices. And it seems to be the name of the game this year is "collaboration" with the nominees and the Swift/West duet. Looks like sharing and playing nice are making a comeback. And I for one NOT happy about that. It shall be interesting to see how things play out. I look forward to be pissed about the outcomings. Tweet @CampusQueer about your predictions and follow my live-tweetings for all the dandy excitement. Actually, I'm still looking for somewhere to watch it. I should get on that.


Over and Out,
CampusQueer