When I am out and about, strutting and slutting the fine sidewalks at the U of A, I constantly have to immediately call my Mammie over for my blood pressure medication. What might you ask is the cause? Bad posture. It drives me up the wall. I see boys dragging their feet, with hunched shoulders, and a slack mouth and I wanna just slap 'em. You look horrible. You already have enough working against you with ill-fitting clothing, bad haircuts, and a general lack of finesse. At least have the self-respect to carry yourself with some diginity and purpose.

I'm not asking these boys (gay, bi and straight to be certain) to prance around like I tend to do. Just assume some sense of self, stand up straight, and walk like you know what the hell is going on. It's not cute to look dazed, glazed, and confused by a place you go everyday.  You mother always nagged, "Stand up straight and don't slouch!" because she didn't want you to grow up looking like a douche. She also said that because it's better for the body and soul to have a string pulling you up by the top of your head. It creates better spinal health, circulation, core strength, and opens the chest for better breathing. So chin up, stand up, and put some damn bass in your walk boys. Wait. No, I didn't say anything about sashaying your hips to and fro. Okay, that's better.

So now I feel everyone has had fair warning, the next time I see any boys moping along the Quad, it's an automatic slap. No questions asked. I do it 'cause I love ya. And I love any good reason to slap a bitch.

Over and Out,
CampusQueer