So for this very special Mother's Day 2010, I thought I'd share a little some thing about me and my mother. A little insight perhaps. Let's discuss the topic of my gay self and my mother. It's an odd situation. She knows. I know she knows. Everyone knows. But it is highly unspoken. It all starts back in my wee days. I can distinctly recall a day on the way to church when my mother looked at me sternly with a finely penciled arched brow and instructed me, "David, could you please not act so damn . . . silly today?" Translated this should be read: "Don't fag out you little ass-pirate!"Cue to freshman year in high school when mother finds where I've been looking up information about homosexuality online. And sophomore year when she found when I'd been looking at gay porn. And junior year when she found where I'd been looking at gay porn. Each time ended with a very long conversation in which she is angry with me, asks me what the Bible says about it, and asking what is wrong with me. Each time I never spoke, looked at the floor, and waited for her to say what she needed to say. I never spoke about being gay for the record. Until I came to UA, I never spoke to anyone about it. A very trying time indeed. Don't judge her yet, I implore you. There's hope yet.

There seems to have been a shift. She uses the word "fabulous" an awful lot as of late. Last Decemeber we were at the loft and she rifles through the credit card bill and asks, "What exactly is the Jungle?" I've used her computer to do CQ posts so much that if you so much as look at the "C" on the keyboard, CampusQueer pops up. I'm trying to reach out and make a bridge and I know she is too. It's not about coming out to her. That's done. Now it's just a matter of acceptance and dialogue. Can we ever cross that line? I think so. She is an amazing woman. I love her. We are closer than ever these days. I just need to know that I can bring a boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner so that she can love them too, you know. And that I can talk to her and not censor myself whenever she is around. This all cues me to wonder what YOUR situations are like. Who is out? Who completely hides it? Who goes boy-watching together? We all think we know each other, but some have these separate lives they lead to keep the waters still on the homefront. Whatever you may do, be happy with you. That is all the Queer can ask.

Happy Mother's day to all out there. Biological mothers, second mothers, drag mothers, whatever. Where ever your mother may be, smile for her. She will smile back.

Over and Out,

CampusQueer